"Mothers of little boys work from SON up until SON down!"
I have a new found respect for all you mothers of little boys~ Liam is on the move now- crawling and pulling himself up and he is a maniac!
Today started at 5:45am Liam crying. oh please go back to sleep, oh please, please....
Nope.
Bill gets up for work and brings him into our bed. I nurse him in all hopes he will fall back to sleep. He starts to drift in an out but then pops up and looks to my night stand because he knows that his snack is there- Damn, he is a smart little booger. I give him his snack cup with cheerios in it and his water cup and try to rest for just a little longer. Cheerios are going flying everywhere because he thinks it is funny to shake his snack cup to get the cheerios out- by the way he knows how to reach his pudgy little fingers in the cup but thinks it is more fun this way. I finally get us up- cheerios stuck to my arms and somehow down my night gown....
I put him on the floor in the living room to play while I get a cup of coffee to get my eyes to open up. I turn around and he has disappeared!
"Liam? Liam? LIAM?!"
hahaha, very funny kid- he is down the hallway playing with my bedroom door. Why do I even bother to buy toys? Any who, little princess Olivia has actually slept over her cousin's house and I need to get her by 9am. I scoop Liam up and put him in his high chair with pears, toast and some cheerios. That lasts for, oh about 10 minutes until he is dropping pears on his head and waving his hand frantically on the high chair tray sending cheerios everywhere. The cats think this is great- they bat cheerios all around the house. Just another day in paradise....
So it is only 7:45am and Liam starts crying-
well of course~ you are still tired! Does anyone ever listen to their mother!
I pick him up and put him in the porta crib in our room screaming but I need to get into the shower....
"Liiaaammm, mamma's coming." I yell from the shower repeatedly hoping this will make him stop screaming.
Finally it is quiet.
I am washing my face and I hear his little cooing but it sounds closer.... and closer.... I look out of the shower and Liam is sitting there.
"OH MY GOD! HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!"
I am yelling at him as if he will answer me. He just looks up at me with a smile. For a split second I think that someone is in the house and lifted him out of the porta crib- there is no other explanation.... I hop out of the shower and peer into my bedroom. One side of the porta crib is down. We knew that one side was having difficulty latching but I thought that I had secured it. Apparently not! But still how did my 10 month old boy manage to get out without a thud, thump or bump somewhere on his body?! Olivia didn't even attempt to climb out of her crib/porta crib until she was over 2! I am naked with my hair up in a towel as I grab the phone and call Billy to ask him why his son is doing these things?
I am trying to get ready and Liam starts playing with the bathroom door. Really? I have not been out of the shower for 5 minutes and I am already sweating! I quickly get myself together and sit Liam amongst his toys to which he starts screaming, again.
Deal Buddy- don't know what else to tell ya.
I get everything together and get him in the car. Before we are out of the drive way he is fast asleep. Ahhhhh peace and quiet.
I pick up Olivia and rush back to our house to get her ready to go with GaGa and PaPa. Liam sleeps for the hour we are in the car and then is content to play with Liv while we are waiting. GaGa and PaPa show up with Dunkin' Donuts and Liam gets his first taste of a white powdered munchkin- He loves it! Not like the kids doesn't like any type of food but still it was exciting to see his little face with white powder on it. Everyone finishes their breakfast and as I am saying good bye to Olivia, while holding Liam I notice that he is chewing on something.
What the.... OMG! It is a shell to a pistachio.
"Does he have hives? is he breathing okay?" I frantically ask Bill's parents. Liam is fine, happy as a clam (another food that he can't eat before a certain age but will probably do so when no one is looking!) It is not even 11am and I have already survived two heart attacks- what's next?
I will tell you. I put Liam down and start to clean up the house because apparently it is filthy if there are pistachio shells lying around somewhere. Liam is happily playing with his toys. I quickly clean the bathroom, checking on him every few minutes. Well the last time I come out to check on him he holds his hand up and smiles as he is sitting next to the cat bowls! Lovely, wet cat food on his fingers. I have no idea if he ate any of it. I debate about calling poison control but opt not to as he has already survived falling out of a porta crib and chewing on nuts- what's a little cat food? He apparently has 9 lives anyway.
Is it nap time yet?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Afternoons
So afternoons at our house usually consist of me on the verge of a mental breakdown, Olivia whining and crying because she doesn't take naps anymore and really should take naps and Liam waking up from his nap ready to go.... This afternoon was no exception.
Thursdays is my dad's day to visit. He comes over around 3:30pm and stays for dinner. Throw him into the mix and you have a full blown "Paar-tay!". All kidding aside, he is a great man and I love him dearly and I have learned to realize that he really does know a thing or two about raising kids. My dad walks in to Olivia having a tantrum over nothing, Liam on his play mat cheerios and toys strewn everywhere and me trying to breath through an anxiety attack.
Where is Bill you ask? Oh out back fighting with a backhoe trying to dig out the yard for our pool- the backhoe was winning. Any who, I make idle conversation with my dad while trying to ignore the aches and pains of my body, especially my back. I know it is from starting back at the gym but I thought it would ease my anxiety as I could explain away all the pain- NOT! I really felt like every muscle/organ in my body was going to explode and I was going to drop dead.
Olivia has busied herself with play doh and has invited my father to sit down and play with her- heaven forbid he invite himself to sit down and offer to play she would have a meltdown. Liam is crawling now and getting over pink eye and a cold and has been very fussy. Whenever he sees me he can now crawl to me while he whines (but he is so cute). I am trying to prepare dinner- steak on the grill, salad and french fries. I put Liam in his high chair with his dinner and start to make the salad. Olivia sees me get the salad out and insists on helping- which normally I don't mind but today I just want to get it done (I am a bad mother I keep thinking to myself simultaneously while I am thinking that my spine is going to degenerate right now and I will be paralyzed). Olivia does a great job picking the stems off the spinach and mixing the red onions and tomatoes in while my father is still sitting playing play doh and watching Nick Jr. I finally stop and tell my father that I am in pain and having anxiety. He understands as he suffers from this disorder as well and immediately starts helping me calm down. He diminishes my fears and validates my pain as muscle pain from working out. I ask my dad to feed Liam his yogurt while I sit down and try to relax. My dad starts to feed him and gets more all over Liam's face then Liam does when he feeds himself. I take over and my dad continues to talk to me and rub my back. Olivia is talking to us but I am not really paying attention to what she is saying and agree with pretty much everything, "uh-hu, okay Olivia, good job (I don't know if she even warranted a good job but whatever). I am finally feeling better and thank my father for his help and support. I come back to reality and realize that Liam not only has yogurt on his face but in his ear and hair AND Olivia got the bag of potato chips out of the pantry and is happily sitting on the couch, watching TV eating chips- Did I black out?! I quickly try to regain control but give up as I am tired, hungry and need to get dinner on the table before midnight. I put Liam on the floor in the kitchen with a wooden spoon and mixing bowl- he could not be happier banging away.
"I want one!"
"Of course you do Olivia."
I hand her a wooden spoon and mixing bowl too and it gets LOUD. My poor father, who is starting to have a hard time hearing has to leave the kitchen. Salad made and fries in the oven, I get the steak on the grill. I come back in from outside and Olivia is in Liam's high chair, my dad trying to adjust the straps to fit her and Liam is now banging on the kitchen cabinets with his wooden spoon.
I NEED a VACATION! by myself.
I am in and out of the house over the next 15 minutes cooking the steak and don't care that Olivia is eating cheerios in Liam's high chair and Liam is now trying to pull himself up to the high chair because he sees food. I go to check on the fries in the oven and SNAP- the oven handle comes completely off in my hand- REALLY?!
I now try to pry the oven open with no handle to save the fries. Oven mitts on, I open the stove by the side and rescue my fries. Thank goodness they are done and I can just shut off the stove and leave the handle resting peacefully on the counter for Bill to deal with later. Dinner is done, Bill comes in and sees the stove handle. Liam is crying, my dad is waiting patiently for his dinner and Olivia is now complaining that she doesn't want steak for dinner- I turn around to see that Bill feels now is the appropriate time to fix the stove handle- Do you not register the chaos that is happening? AND the oven is still hot!- Moron. I breath to myself and through gritted teeth with a very, very forced smile on my face ask Bill to leave the handle for later.
Of course the second I finally sit down to eat Liam is done eating and starting to cry, Olivia needs more steak (which now she likes) and the cat jumps up on the table. I get Olivia her steak, shoot Bill a look that says, "if you don't do something to calm Liam right now I am leaving" and throw the cat downstairs. Bill quickly finishes his dinner and takes Olivia and Liam to the bath. I am finally left to eat my dinner with my father. I apologize for our chaotic lifestyle and he just laughs. He knows- for God sakes he should be a saint! He and my mother had to raise me.
My father gone, the kids in bed, the stove handle fixed and I reflect back on my afternoon. I realize that as crazy as it can get sometimes, this is my life and my memories and I would not change it for one second.
Thursdays is my dad's day to visit. He comes over around 3:30pm and stays for dinner. Throw him into the mix and you have a full blown "Paar-tay!". All kidding aside, he is a great man and I love him dearly and I have learned to realize that he really does know a thing or two about raising kids. My dad walks in to Olivia having a tantrum over nothing, Liam on his play mat cheerios and toys strewn everywhere and me trying to breath through an anxiety attack.
Where is Bill you ask? Oh out back fighting with a backhoe trying to dig out the yard for our pool- the backhoe was winning. Any who, I make idle conversation with my dad while trying to ignore the aches and pains of my body, especially my back. I know it is from starting back at the gym but I thought it would ease my anxiety as I could explain away all the pain- NOT! I really felt like every muscle/organ in my body was going to explode and I was going to drop dead.
Olivia has busied herself with play doh and has invited my father to sit down and play with her- heaven forbid he invite himself to sit down and offer to play she would have a meltdown. Liam is crawling now and getting over pink eye and a cold and has been very fussy. Whenever he sees me he can now crawl to me while he whines (but he is so cute). I am trying to prepare dinner- steak on the grill, salad and french fries. I put Liam in his high chair with his dinner and start to make the salad. Olivia sees me get the salad out and insists on helping- which normally I don't mind but today I just want to get it done (I am a bad mother I keep thinking to myself simultaneously while I am thinking that my spine is going to degenerate right now and I will be paralyzed). Olivia does a great job picking the stems off the spinach and mixing the red onions and tomatoes in while my father is still sitting playing play doh and watching Nick Jr. I finally stop and tell my father that I am in pain and having anxiety. He understands as he suffers from this disorder as well and immediately starts helping me calm down. He diminishes my fears and validates my pain as muscle pain from working out. I ask my dad to feed Liam his yogurt while I sit down and try to relax. My dad starts to feed him and gets more all over Liam's face then Liam does when he feeds himself. I take over and my dad continues to talk to me and rub my back. Olivia is talking to us but I am not really paying attention to what she is saying and agree with pretty much everything, "uh-hu, okay Olivia, good job (I don't know if she even warranted a good job but whatever). I am finally feeling better and thank my father for his help and support. I come back to reality and realize that Liam not only has yogurt on his face but in his ear and hair AND Olivia got the bag of potato chips out of the pantry and is happily sitting on the couch, watching TV eating chips- Did I black out?! I quickly try to regain control but give up as I am tired, hungry and need to get dinner on the table before midnight. I put Liam on the floor in the kitchen with a wooden spoon and mixing bowl- he could not be happier banging away.
"I want one!"
"Of course you do Olivia."
I hand her a wooden spoon and mixing bowl too and it gets LOUD. My poor father, who is starting to have a hard time hearing has to leave the kitchen. Salad made and fries in the oven, I get the steak on the grill. I come back in from outside and Olivia is in Liam's high chair, my dad trying to adjust the straps to fit her and Liam is now banging on the kitchen cabinets with his wooden spoon.
I NEED a VACATION! by myself.
I am in and out of the house over the next 15 minutes cooking the steak and don't care that Olivia is eating cheerios in Liam's high chair and Liam is now trying to pull himself up to the high chair because he sees food. I go to check on the fries in the oven and SNAP- the oven handle comes completely off in my hand- REALLY?!
I now try to pry the oven open with no handle to save the fries. Oven mitts on, I open the stove by the side and rescue my fries. Thank goodness they are done and I can just shut off the stove and leave the handle resting peacefully on the counter for Bill to deal with later. Dinner is done, Bill comes in and sees the stove handle. Liam is crying, my dad is waiting patiently for his dinner and Olivia is now complaining that she doesn't want steak for dinner- I turn around to see that Bill feels now is the appropriate time to fix the stove handle- Do you not register the chaos that is happening? AND the oven is still hot!- Moron. I breath to myself and through gritted teeth with a very, very forced smile on my face ask Bill to leave the handle for later.
Of course the second I finally sit down to eat Liam is done eating and starting to cry, Olivia needs more steak (which now she likes) and the cat jumps up on the table. I get Olivia her steak, shoot Bill a look that says, "if you don't do something to calm Liam right now I am leaving" and throw the cat downstairs. Bill quickly finishes his dinner and takes Olivia and Liam to the bath. I am finally left to eat my dinner with my father. I apologize for our chaotic lifestyle and he just laughs. He knows- for God sakes he should be a saint! He and my mother had to raise me.
My father gone, the kids in bed, the stove handle fixed and I reflect back on my afternoon. I realize that as crazy as it can get sometimes, this is my life and my memories and I would not change it for one second.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Getting out of the house
I wake up with the intention of going out and getting some errands done. And the mad dash to get out of the house before 10am begins.... I would like to be home by noon to give my kids a nice wholesome lunch but happy meals on the road and naps in the car it will probably be. PS I usually get up between 7am and 8am so you would think 2 to 3 hours would be plenty of time to get out of the house- not here.
I need my cup of coffee which I have already said I can't drink without reheating at least 3 times- have to feed Liam who is happy to eat anything these days and fight with Olivia to have something besides chips or cookies for breakfast.
"you want what? a frozen waffle? sure. Here ya go."
Then change and dress Liam and then try to get Olivia dressed. Now at almost 3 she has to do EVERYTHING herself. I have given up on making her clothes match- if she will put it on it works for me. Then the battle for me to get into the shower ensues. I used to put Liam and Olivia in my bed watching TV while I got in the shower- not anymore. Little miss independent needs to stay out in the "ligy" room as she calls the living room and Liam is rolling all over. I have to give in to Liv because I'd rather spend 5 minutes setting her up with a movie and toy then 20 minutes arguing with her and bribing her into my room. I then carry the exersaucer, usually with Liam in it into my bedroom and get into the shower as Liam is crying.
"Olivia can you come in here and play with your brother, please?!"
I get into the shower and try to enjoy my 5 minutes of solitude (yeah, right) and then I start hurrying up because I am frantically picturing Olivia getting into something she is not supposed to- every couple of minutes I am called her, from the shower to come in and answer some inane question I make up just to make sure she is okay. I get out of the shower and start yelling again for her to come in and get her hair done and brush her teeth. Several times have I run out to the living room naked when she hasn't answered me thinking something terrible happened only to find her playing or engrossed in her show. One day I will run out naked just as the oil guy or UPS man shows up.
She finally gets into the bathroom and my test of patience begins again-
"here brush your teeth."
"no, I want to put the toothpaste on.."
"okay, let me wet your hair down."
"no. I want to do it!"
arrgghhhh.
Liam is really fussing now and I dump a load of Puffs (aka baby crack) onto the tray of the exersaucer. This buys me about 5 more minutes. As I send Olivia back out of the bathroom so I can finish getting ready I notice her socks and shoes are off.... Really?!
I am finally ready. I try to look decent to go out but I know that I probably look like a hot mess, especially because I am sweating profusely from the mommy marathon that has ensued since I have gotten out of the shower. I don't know why I even bother. I refuse to stop in front of the mirror because I would just be horrified and since I have made it this far to get out of the house I am not going to let MY appearance stop us. I get Liam and head towards the door....
"Liv, let's go. Olivia. OLIVIA ANN NOW!"
I head back to her room and find her clothes from her dresser strewn everywhere, her pants off but two pairs of underwear on and she is concentrating very hard on putting a different pair of pants on.
"Mommy, I wanted to wear my pink pants."
I don't even have words at this point. She finally gets dressed (after I am told to leave the room because she can do it HERSELF- at these times I know my mother is laughing from heaven saying, "I told you... just wait until you have a little girl of your own.") I walk out of her room and firmly tell Liam that he MUST stay a baby FOREVER!
Olivia finally presents herself and I am trying to be patient. "let's go."
"okay, but I need my baby and her stuff."
"no. Let's go!"
She grabs her baby and starts stuffing her purse full of God knows what and heads towards the door.
"Mommy, this stuff is heavy. Can you carry it?"
Sure let me just get my bionic arms going- holding Liam, the diaper bag, my purse and not Liv's entourage. LET'S GO!
We make it to the car and Liam is in.
"I have to go to the bathroom."
"of course you do."
Back into the house, pee and back out to the car we all go.
Finally the kids are in the car and I start to hand Olivia her "have to have" toys...
"no, I don't want them. Can you put them on the floor?"
I wish I could tell you where I'd like to put them but that would probably be a CPS report....
I need my cup of coffee which I have already said I can't drink without reheating at least 3 times- have to feed Liam who is happy to eat anything these days and fight with Olivia to have something besides chips or cookies for breakfast.
"you want what? a frozen waffle? sure. Here ya go."
Then change and dress Liam and then try to get Olivia dressed. Now at almost 3 she has to do EVERYTHING herself. I have given up on making her clothes match- if she will put it on it works for me. Then the battle for me to get into the shower ensues. I used to put Liam and Olivia in my bed watching TV while I got in the shower- not anymore. Little miss independent needs to stay out in the "ligy" room as she calls the living room and Liam is rolling all over. I have to give in to Liv because I'd rather spend 5 minutes setting her up with a movie and toy then 20 minutes arguing with her and bribing her into my room. I then carry the exersaucer, usually with Liam in it into my bedroom and get into the shower as Liam is crying.
"Olivia can you come in here and play with your brother, please?!"
I get into the shower and try to enjoy my 5 minutes of solitude (yeah, right) and then I start hurrying up because I am frantically picturing Olivia getting into something she is not supposed to- every couple of minutes I am called her, from the shower to come in and answer some inane question I make up just to make sure she is okay. I get out of the shower and start yelling again for her to come in and get her hair done and brush her teeth. Several times have I run out to the living room naked when she hasn't answered me thinking something terrible happened only to find her playing or engrossed in her show. One day I will run out naked just as the oil guy or UPS man shows up.
She finally gets into the bathroom and my test of patience begins again-
"here brush your teeth."
"no, I want to put the toothpaste on.."
"okay, let me wet your hair down."
"no. I want to do it!"
arrgghhhh.
Liam is really fussing now and I dump a load of Puffs (aka baby crack) onto the tray of the exersaucer. This buys me about 5 more minutes. As I send Olivia back out of the bathroom so I can finish getting ready I notice her socks and shoes are off.... Really?!
I am finally ready. I try to look decent to go out but I know that I probably look like a hot mess, especially because I am sweating profusely from the mommy marathon that has ensued since I have gotten out of the shower. I don't know why I even bother. I refuse to stop in front of the mirror because I would just be horrified and since I have made it this far to get out of the house I am not going to let MY appearance stop us. I get Liam and head towards the door....
"Liv, let's go. Olivia. OLIVIA ANN NOW!"
I head back to her room and find her clothes from her dresser strewn everywhere, her pants off but two pairs of underwear on and she is concentrating very hard on putting a different pair of pants on.
"Mommy, I wanted to wear my pink pants."
I don't even have words at this point. She finally gets dressed (after I am told to leave the room because she can do it HERSELF- at these times I know my mother is laughing from heaven saying, "I told you... just wait until you have a little girl of your own.") I walk out of her room and firmly tell Liam that he MUST stay a baby FOREVER!
Olivia finally presents herself and I am trying to be patient. "let's go."
"okay, but I need my baby and her stuff."
"no. Let's go!"
She grabs her baby and starts stuffing her purse full of God knows what and heads towards the door.
"Mommy, this stuff is heavy. Can you carry it?"
Sure let me just get my bionic arms going- holding Liam, the diaper bag, my purse and not Liv's entourage. LET'S GO!
We make it to the car and Liam is in.
"I have to go to the bathroom."
"of course you do."
Back into the house, pee and back out to the car we all go.
Finally the kids are in the car and I start to hand Olivia her "have to have" toys...
"no, I don't want them. Can you put them on the floor?"
I wish I could tell you where I'd like to put them but that would probably be a CPS report....
Thursday, March 18, 2010
TV
Okay, as previously stated I am not mother of the year so my kids watch television a lot- pretty much from when they wake up until when they got to bed the television is on. They may not watch it all the time but it is background noise to their playing. For Christmas Santa got me a neat little 10 inch under mount TV for the kitchen so I can watch what I want while me kids enjoy our 46 inch flat screen in the living room! How do things like this happen?! Anyway, I have come to love and hate Nick Jr.- I love that it keeps my kids occupied when I need a break or to get things done but I hate the shows and characters. I applaud you parents that have set limits on TV time or have opted to not allow TV at all- you are better parents than I AND you are saving yourselves the cost of Ibuprofen and cartoon characters haunting your dreams.
I realize that as the kids get older the shows are only going to get more annoying and could even turn into an obsession- I am glad they are not old enough to be a part of the Hannah Montana, High School Musical and ICarly Craze. I also realize that writing this proves that my life really does revolve around my kids. I mean who spends several hours perfecting a blog about preschool television?! I really need to get out more.
MAX & RUBY
First of all where the hell are their parents? This show is a CPS report waiting to happen. From time to time I see episodes with pictures of what I guess are their parents but why is Ruby always in charge of Max? She always wants Max to go away or leave her alone- So the one episode where Max is happily playing on the playground, Ruby wants him to pretend to be a baby- Can you just leave him alone Ruby!
TOOT & PUDDLE
Let's just put it out there.... They are gay- two "friends" living together, going on trips around the world, taking care of each other... really did you think I wouldn't notice.
YO GABBA GABBA
This is baby Crack- My kids stop dead in their tracks for this show- DJ Lance you are the man! I plan my day around your show. But I still don't know the character's names- they are so weird- Tofu, Moon U... I don't know and I don't care as long as the kids are entertained.
I don't have many thoughts on Franklin, Pinky Dinky Do, Jack's Big Music Show, Oswald or Lazy Town except that I can't get some of the theme songs out of my head. I catch myself now and again going about my day singing, "Pinky's got a story she wants to share with you... Pinky Dinky Doo.... If I got a problem, I know just what to do- I think and think and think and suddenly I know.... It's Franklin comin' over to your house.... Come on everyone give your foot a tap, come on everyone give your hands a clap... Dumdiddy, Dum-D-Dum-D-Dum Day-It's Jack's BIG muuusic showww... Welcome to Lazy Town- Bing Bang Diggiriga (whatever she says) funny words I say when I am dancing (yes and stupid) .... " Sorry if you now have these songs in your head but I thought I should share the wealth.
BLUE'S CLUES
Blue's clues is not bad- Steve and Joe leave something to be desired. I personally prefer Steve to Joe and my favorite episode is when they are both on together. I then saw Steve left the show to pursue his rock career- you may see him from time to time on Nick Jr. singing a kids rock tune with his band- weird.
WOW WOW WUBBZY
Again a show that mesmerizes Olivia and I want to jump out of my skin when it is on. I find Wubbzy very annoying. Wow, Wow everyone
Now we move to our ethnic or more cultural shows:
NI-HOA KAI LAN
Cute little girl with her furry friends and YeYe- yeha, yaya- whatever- her grandfather. But her eyes are on the side of her head. Has anyone else noticed this?
DORA
Hola! great you teach Spanish but how many times are you going to ask me where we are going?! I know already!- over the bridge, through the forest, to the tallest mountain.
DIEGO
I don't mind Diego so much except when I realized that a kid watching another kid, even a cartoon kid play with a baby Jaguar or coyote or other deadly animal and make them seem so harmless may not be such a good influence. I mean if Olivia ever comes to me and wants to "rescue" a snake that is outside I am not going to be as kind as Diego to this animal.
THE BACKYARDIGANS
Yes I am including the Backyardigans in this category because these backyard friends apparently live in the most ethnic neighborhood- Pablo, Tyrone, Uniqua, Tasha and Austin. I am glad to see them all getting along and playing nice- just warms my heart.
WONDER PETS
and let's talk about the "commercials" in between shows... if I see one more Fresh Beat Band video I will scream. It makes me cringe when I hear it but I can't help but sing along- Why?!
"It was a great day, what a super day; I got, I got, I got, You got, you got, you got, we got, we got, we got loco legs.... and my personal favorite-Friends give friends a hand, put your hand in mine and we'll be fine- when you neeeeeed a helping hand.
I must be going insane!
Moose A. Moose and Zee are great but sometimes I find myself singing their songs too-
"I don't like candy corn.... We're going on a trip, we're going on a trip.... "
On a positive note I LOVE Miss Spider- It is really my favorite show. I don't know if it is because Kristin Davis from Sex and The City is Miss Spider and I just feel a connection but I have to say that I actually enjoy watching it.
I realize that as the kids get older the shows are only going to get more annoying and could even turn into an obsession- I am glad they are not old enough to be a part of the Hannah Montana, High School Musical and ICarly Craze. I also realize that writing this proves that my life really does revolve around my kids. I mean who spends several hours perfecting a blog about preschool television?! I really need to get out more.
MAX & RUBY
First of all where the hell are their parents? This show is a CPS report waiting to happen. From time to time I see episodes with pictures of what I guess are their parents but why is Ruby always in charge of Max? She always wants Max to go away or leave her alone- So the one episode where Max is happily playing on the playground, Ruby wants him to pretend to be a baby- Can you just leave him alone Ruby!
TOOT & PUDDLE
Let's just put it out there.... They are gay- two "friends" living together, going on trips around the world, taking care of each other... really did you think I wouldn't notice.
YO GABBA GABBA
This is baby Crack- My kids stop dead in their tracks for this show- DJ Lance you are the man! I plan my day around your show. But I still don't know the character's names- they are so weird- Tofu, Moon U... I don't know and I don't care as long as the kids are entertained.
I don't have many thoughts on Franklin, Pinky Dinky Do, Jack's Big Music Show, Oswald or Lazy Town except that I can't get some of the theme songs out of my head. I catch myself now and again going about my day singing, "Pinky's got a story she wants to share with you... Pinky Dinky Doo.... If I got a problem, I know just what to do- I think and think and think and suddenly I know.... It's Franklin comin' over to your house.... Come on everyone give your foot a tap, come on everyone give your hands a clap... Dumdiddy, Dum-D-Dum-D-Dum Day-It's Jack's BIG muuusic showww... Welcome to Lazy Town- Bing Bang Diggiriga (whatever she says) funny words I say when I am dancing (yes and stupid) .... " Sorry if you now have these songs in your head but I thought I should share the wealth.
BLUE'S CLUES
Blue's clues is not bad- Steve and Joe leave something to be desired. I personally prefer Steve to Joe and my favorite episode is when they are both on together. I then saw Steve left the show to pursue his rock career- you may see him from time to time on Nick Jr. singing a kids rock tune with his band- weird.
WOW WOW WUBBZY
Again a show that mesmerizes Olivia and I want to jump out of my skin when it is on. I find Wubbzy very annoying. Wow, Wow everyone
Now we move to our ethnic or more cultural shows:
NI-HOA KAI LAN
Cute little girl with her furry friends and YeYe- yeha, yaya- whatever- her grandfather. But her eyes are on the side of her head. Has anyone else noticed this?
DORA
Hola! great you teach Spanish but how many times are you going to ask me where we are going?! I know already!- over the bridge, through the forest, to the tallest mountain.
DIEGO
I don't mind Diego so much except when I realized that a kid watching another kid, even a cartoon kid play with a baby Jaguar or coyote or other deadly animal and make them seem so harmless may not be such a good influence. I mean if Olivia ever comes to me and wants to "rescue" a snake that is outside I am not going to be as kind as Diego to this animal.
THE BACKYARDIGANS
Yes I am including the Backyardigans in this category because these backyard friends apparently live in the most ethnic neighborhood- Pablo, Tyrone, Uniqua, Tasha and Austin. I am glad to see them all getting along and playing nice- just warms my heart.
WONDER PETS
The MOST annoying show on Nick Jr. by far! I cannot stand it! I don't know if it is the songs- "The phone. The phone is ringing. There's an animal in trouble.... What's gonna work?... Team work..." or the Characters- Linny, Tuck and Ming Ming too, who by the way, needs a speech therapist- I don't know but I just don't like it.
and let's talk about the "commercials" in between shows... if I see one more Fresh Beat Band video I will scream. It makes me cringe when I hear it but I can't help but sing along- Why?!
"It was a great day, what a super day; I got, I got, I got, You got, you got, you got, we got, we got, we got loco legs.... and my personal favorite-Friends give friends a hand, put your hand in mine and we'll be fine- when you neeeeeed a helping hand.
I must be going insane!
Moose A. Moose and Zee are great but sometimes I find myself singing their songs too-
"I don't like candy corn.... We're going on a trip, we're going on a trip.... "
On a positive note I LOVE Miss Spider- It is really my favorite show. I don't know if it is because Kristin Davis from Sex and The City is Miss Spider and I just feel a connection but I have to say that I actually enjoy watching it.
I am rereading this entry feeling like I really am the worst mother of the year but alas Nick Jr. IS like preschool on TV because the other day I was not in a very good mood and Olivia said, "mommy are u happy?"
"no."
"I know what will make you happy- hugs. Do you need a hug mommy?"
"yes baby. I do."
She gave me a hug and asked if I was feeling better. I told her I was and asked where that came from and she said, "Gabba Gabba. Sometimes you just need a hug to feel better"
Wow! I am a better mother than I thought for letting my kid watch TV!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Mommy Meltdown
Being stuck inside with two kids for 4 days of snowy, cold weather with no phone, cable or TV (at least we had electricity- I don't know how the families who had nothing survived. I can see why some animals eat their young) It was enough to send me right over the edge. The first two days didn't seem so bad- staying in pj's, playing in the snow, hot chocolate, watching movies, making arts and crafts but as day three came to an end I was out of ideas, energy and patience. Day 4 and I was determined to get out of the house- BY MYSELF. It took Bill a couple of hours to shovel, snowblow and plow us out. He then made his rounds around town helping out family and friends. Finally, at 11:30am I was ready to go. Bill informed me that he didn't really dig out my van but told me to "gun it" over the snow. Here I go on my way....
He didn't really dig out my van was an understatement- he did everything else EXCEPT dig out my car but my determination to get away was strong. I gunned it and moved about an inch. Reverse and then forward again, back and forth until all that is left is my wheels spinning, stuck in the snow! SON OF A ...
I am PISSED- yelling and cursing at no one as I walk back to the house to get a shovel. I open the door yell in "What were you thinking?! Gun it?!" and slam the door. I hustle back to the car and start digging it out. Bill goes to the window in Liam's room and starts banging on it. Now I can't really see him or hear him but I am assuming he is saying something. My blood pressure is rising and I am getting more angry that he hasn't already come out to help me. And apparently he can't open the window a smidge to talk to me. I yell at him that I can't hear him and to leave me alone. He finally opens the window and tells me to come in with the kids and he would dig out the car- NO WAY. I know that I am being irrational and mean but at this point I don't care. I am shoveling, crying, talking to myself-
"how stupid can he be. Just gun it he says, I just want a break, I deserve a break. I can't do this by myself (shovel and parent). Fine I will just not go anywhere- just back to bed. What an ass he is."
I finally realize that I am not really making any progress digging out. I am just throwing huge mounds of snow back onto the cleared off driveway. I storm inside, throwing my coat, hat and gloves off while announcing that I will just stay home. I run to my room and slam the door and throw myself on my bed (yes I can have a tantrum just as well, if not better than any 2 or 3 year old I know!) I take 5 minutes and collect myself and return to the living room. Olivia is still watching tv and Liam is playing happily in his bouncer but Bill has disappeared and I am guessing he went out to shovel my car out. He returns 15 minutes later and tells me to go. I grab my stuff and I am O-U-T- see ya later, arrivederci, goodbye!
As I whip out of the driveway I realize that I really don't know where I want to go. Well I need stamps so off to the post office I go- how exciting. I get my stamps and am starting to feel like a horrible wife, mother and person. I am torn- I feel selfish and ashamed of how I reacted but at the same time I felt like I deserved some time for me, which is very rare. When I do get some time (which is usually to go food shopping or run errands for the house or our family, not necessarily for me) I find that I am always rushing to get back home to the kids, like they are a burden on who ever is watching them, even when it is their own father. I wonder if that is a me thing or a mom thing? Anyway, my guilt running strong I pick up McDonald's for lunch for everyone, which is not good for my new diet but at this point.... the hell with it... then a Dunkin' Donuts coffee for Billy and return home with my "tail between my legs". Olivia could care less about my outburst and is thrilled with her happy meal. I apologize to Bill and give him his food and coffee as a peace offering but I have to add my two cents-
"Did you really think that the van was going to jump over the snow banks that were surrounding it?"
With his crooked little smile he replies, "I told you to gun it."
I love my husband and my kids. They are the best things to happen to me. I truly love being a stay at home mom. I love the smiles and laughter and chaos and dysfunction that occurs on a daily basis here. What I realize is that I love ME too and sometimes ME needs to recharge her batteries and get back to neutral (and a big glass of Merlot- I am talking HUGE) so that I can be the "best little wifey" and "mother of the year" and "humanitarian do-gooder" that I usually am .... or just somewhat functional- I say potato, you say potahto.
He didn't really dig out my van was an understatement- he did everything else EXCEPT dig out my car but my determination to get away was strong. I gunned it and moved about an inch. Reverse and then forward again, back and forth until all that is left is my wheels spinning, stuck in the snow! SON OF A ...
I am PISSED- yelling and cursing at no one as I walk back to the house to get a shovel. I open the door yell in "What were you thinking?! Gun it?!" and slam the door. I hustle back to the car and start digging it out. Bill goes to the window in Liam's room and starts banging on it. Now I can't really see him or hear him but I am assuming he is saying something. My blood pressure is rising and I am getting more angry that he hasn't already come out to help me. And apparently he can't open the window a smidge to talk to me. I yell at him that I can't hear him and to leave me alone. He finally opens the window and tells me to come in with the kids and he would dig out the car- NO WAY. I know that I am being irrational and mean but at this point I don't care. I am shoveling, crying, talking to myself-
"how stupid can he be. Just gun it he says, I just want a break, I deserve a break. I can't do this by myself (shovel and parent). Fine I will just not go anywhere- just back to bed. What an ass he is."
I finally realize that I am not really making any progress digging out. I am just throwing huge mounds of snow back onto the cleared off driveway. I storm inside, throwing my coat, hat and gloves off while announcing that I will just stay home. I run to my room and slam the door and throw myself on my bed (yes I can have a tantrum just as well, if not better than any 2 or 3 year old I know!) I take 5 minutes and collect myself and return to the living room. Olivia is still watching tv and Liam is playing happily in his bouncer but Bill has disappeared and I am guessing he went out to shovel my car out. He returns 15 minutes later and tells me to go. I grab my stuff and I am O-U-T- see ya later, arrivederci, goodbye!
As I whip out of the driveway I realize that I really don't know where I want to go. Well I need stamps so off to the post office I go- how exciting. I get my stamps and am starting to feel like a horrible wife, mother and person. I am torn- I feel selfish and ashamed of how I reacted but at the same time I felt like I deserved some time for me, which is very rare. When I do get some time (which is usually to go food shopping or run errands for the house or our family, not necessarily for me) I find that I am always rushing to get back home to the kids, like they are a burden on who ever is watching them, even when it is their own father. I wonder if that is a me thing or a mom thing? Anyway, my guilt running strong I pick up McDonald's for lunch for everyone, which is not good for my new diet but at this point.... the hell with it... then a Dunkin' Donuts coffee for Billy and return home with my "tail between my legs". Olivia could care less about my outburst and is thrilled with her happy meal. I apologize to Bill and give him his food and coffee as a peace offering but I have to add my two cents-
"Did you really think that the van was going to jump over the snow banks that were surrounding it?"
With his crooked little smile he replies, "I told you to gun it."
I love my husband and my kids. They are the best things to happen to me. I truly love being a stay at home mom. I love the smiles and laughter and chaos and dysfunction that occurs on a daily basis here. What I realize is that I love ME too and sometimes ME needs to recharge her batteries and get back to neutral (and a big glass of Merlot- I am talking HUGE) so that I can be the "best little wifey" and "mother of the year" and "humanitarian do-gooder" that I usually am .... or just somewhat functional- I say potato, you say potahto.
Monday, February 22, 2010
sleep
4am- just leaving the bar... not since 2003! just trying to sleep but here's how that goes...
"moommy"
Bill laying beside me in our bed pretending he didn't hear her.
"moommy"
Me still laying in bed waiting for Bill to stop pretending and get up.... HA!
I get up and get my robe and start towards our bedroom door
"I'll get her" now he speaks
"forget it" in my I don't like you anymore voice.
in to Olivia's room I go and there she is, sitting up all ready to get up.
okay, I will start with the nice approach- the loving, caring mother I am at 4am.
"It's early. It's not time to get up." This being said as she is inching toward the end of the bed.
"No Olivia. Get back in bed and go to sleep!"
I cover her up, well try to as she is kicking her legs at me and walk out of her room while she is crying.
Great! Another good night of sleep I think as I am getting back into bed. I am also still thinking that I really don't like my husband as he is snoring away.
Olivia's crying continues and I get back up again. (If Bill even speaks I will kill him).
"Olivia you are not getting up or coming into our bed."
5 seconds later I am walking back into our bedroom- Olivia, her pillow, blanket and various babies and stuffed animals in hand.
"now lay down and go to sleep, Please!"
Just as I am drifting back off to sleep....
"WHAAAA, WHAAA.." comes out of Liam's monitor. Here we go again. Robe back on and into Liam's room to feed him and put him back to bed. I get back to my bed 15 minutes later and Olivia is still rolling around, Bill is still oblivious and as I roll over to go to sleep I hear the cat start coughing.
ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!
I get up to scoot Barnum out of our room and down the hallway. Back in bed...again and I can still hear the cat yakking. I get up again to throw him (literally) downstairs and step in something. REALLY?!
I really want to kick the cat but I hobble to the bathroom to wash the hairball off my foot. By the time I get back into bed it is after 5am. Bill, Olivia and Barnum are all resting comfortably.
The topper, when I finally drag myself out of bed 2 hours later Bill looks at me and says, "rough night, huh?"
Can you say DIVORCE...
"moommy"
Bill laying beside me in our bed pretending he didn't hear her.
"moommy"
Me still laying in bed waiting for Bill to stop pretending and get up.... HA!
I get up and get my robe and start towards our bedroom door
"I'll get her" now he speaks
"forget it" in my I don't like you anymore voice.
in to Olivia's room I go and there she is, sitting up all ready to get up.
okay, I will start with the nice approach- the loving, caring mother I am at 4am.
"It's early. It's not time to get up." This being said as she is inching toward the end of the bed.
"No Olivia. Get back in bed and go to sleep!"
I cover her up, well try to as she is kicking her legs at me and walk out of her room while she is crying.
Great! Another good night of sleep I think as I am getting back into bed. I am also still thinking that I really don't like my husband as he is snoring away.
Olivia's crying continues and I get back up again. (If Bill even speaks I will kill him).
"Olivia you are not getting up or coming into our bed."
5 seconds later I am walking back into our bedroom- Olivia, her pillow, blanket and various babies and stuffed animals in hand.
"now lay down and go to sleep, Please!"
Just as I am drifting back off to sleep....
"WHAAAA, WHAAA.." comes out of Liam's monitor. Here we go again. Robe back on and into Liam's room to feed him and put him back to bed. I get back to my bed 15 minutes later and Olivia is still rolling around, Bill is still oblivious and as I roll over to go to sleep I hear the cat start coughing.
ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!
I get up to scoot Barnum out of our room and down the hallway. Back in bed...again and I can still hear the cat yakking. I get up again to throw him (literally) downstairs and step in something. REALLY?!
I really want to kick the cat but I hobble to the bathroom to wash the hairball off my foot. By the time I get back into bed it is after 5am. Bill, Olivia and Barnum are all resting comfortably.
The topper, when I finally drag myself out of bed 2 hours later Bill looks at me and says, "rough night, huh?"
Can you say DIVORCE...
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Vacation
Warm, sunny, sandy beach, waves rolling in and slapping the shore in that rhythmic song, laying on a beach chair with a good book in hand. This has always been my idea of vacation and when we planned our trip to Florida this winter I had this in mind- HA! I am still new to this parenting thing and somehow thought that vacationing with my family would be the same as my ideal vacation- wrong again! When I tell you that I had 20 minutes to myself the whole 10 days we were gone I am NOT kidding. I now realize that family vacation means that we do everything for the kids or that we think the kids will like and maybe, just maybe try and sneak in doing something we like to do without a tantrum. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry and took care of the kids only not in my house but 1500 miles away in our very small trailer. On our way home the thought that kept me going was that I was going to rent a room at The Grand Hotel the night we got home- just for ME- No one touching me or calling me or asking me to do anything. Ahhhhh but it was just a dream.
We awoke every morning to either roosters crowing, lions roaring or trains going by. I guess sleeping in is out of the question- oh did I mention that Liam decided he didn't like to sleep anymore and was up on and off all night- I got more sleep when he was a newborn. I am by no means a mother that cares if my kid cries it out but being nestled between two trailers I felt bad for the other campers having to listen to my kid cry- I mean someone should have a good night's sleep. Overall we had a great time and I am sure when I look back on this in, oh... about ten years I will laugh about it instead of cringe or cry.
so The Keys were nice but really not geared for kids-thankfully our campground had a pool and hot tub that the kids enjoyed. I am not going to lie- I was jealous when we went to Key West for a "family day" and saw all the other smart people who left their kids behind and were enjoying hanging out in the bars. Instead I enjoyed a tour of an aquarium. We did have lunch at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville but Olivia decided to have a tantrum which made enjoying my rum punch impossible. My solace was my walk through the Coach outlet ALONE. I walked in and took in the smell of the fabric, the leather... the rich. Even at the outlet the least expensive bag was over a $100. Do you know how many diapers and wipes that can buy?! Maybe another time- goodbye old friend...
5 days later we pulled into our campsite at Lion Country Safari near West Palm Beach. Now when they tell you that you may wake to the roaring of Lions they are not kidding! At first Bill told me it had to be a tape being played- the sounds of the safari-but the next morning when I heard the lions and their trainers banging on metal drums I knew it was real. We rented a van at the park to drive through the animal park. As the speed limit was 5 miles an hour we did not bring the car seats. At the entrance they give you a tape to play that describes the animals. Bill is driving and I am sitting in the back holding Liam with Olivia sitting next to me. Bill and I are looking at the animals, listening to the tape- Liam is oblivious and doesn't stop wiggling around and all Olivia wants to do is play with the seat belts. Bill shuts off the tape and we make our way through the animal park- Ostriches are pecking at our car, lions staring us down and I swear the monkeys were laughing at us. After an hour we come to the end and Olivia is still hard at work buckling and unbuckling her seat belt... whatever.
The next day we venture to the walk through park- as we don't have a car we have to walk the 1/2 mile to the Safari Park. So we load up the big double stroller and the single stroller with our stuff for the day, kids included and make our way their. The park was perfectly geared for Olivia. She had a blast feeding some of the animals, going on rides and enjoyed the little water park. We started our walk back to the campground at around 3pm. Liam was sleeping and Olivia decided she wanted to walk. Well let me tell you walking a 1/2 a mile with a two year old will take you forever... It is humid and buggy out (and I am very tired of being eaten alive by no-see-ums). Bill and I are getting cranky. A truck is coming up behind us and as we move over to the side of the road- one bag on the stroller drops and spills all over and then another- Bill is trying to pick it all up but it drops again. I am so tired that all I can do is laugh, which just frustrates Bill more. I laugh harder, not really meaning to but I am just soooo tired that I can't stop. Bill finally picks up everything and stomps away leaving Olivia and I to walk by ourselves back to camp.
The next day we are off to see Bill's brother and his wife in central Florida, near Tampa. We get to the camp ground which is conveniently located across the street from his brother's apartment complex but for lack of a better word... is a hole. As the escort takes us to our site we pass a sign that says "beware of alligators"- WHAT?! We were originally going to walk back and forth to Casey and Leah's but I made Bill go get Casey's car. Oh did I mention that the hot water heater stopped working.... ha,ha,ha,ha.... I am so delirious that I don't even care. Thankfully Casey and Leah have a beautiful garden tub that we can bathe the kids and shower in. But wouldn't you know it, the glorious hot water that I have been longing for only makes the bug bites worse and I stand in the shower scratching away... ahhhh it feels so good. Poor Olivia looks like she is recovering from the chicken pox!
Well wouldn't ya know it, the Florida State Fair in Tampa had just started before we got there... yeeha! Actually I planned our whole vacation around this- Fair food in the middle of winter; awesome!- sausage and peppers, roasted corn, any kind of BBQ you can imagine and my favorite fried Oreos! I was appalled to see fried butter on the menu and could not bring myself to try it. I also witnessed the most delicious but disgusting cheeseburger being cooked- burger, cheese, bacon and as the bun- a grilled Krispie Kreme donut. I should have tried it but I had just finished eating a pig's leg and was full- go figure- the next food booth is always the best. Any who, after a good day at the fair, a nice shower, a little Super Bowl watching we were off to bed. We wanted an early start to our drive home.... our vacation had come to an end (would it be awful if I said finally?! I know it sounds like I am complaining but I am very appreciative that we are fortunate enough to go on vacation for 2 weeks in the middle of winter. It's just sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for...)
We are on our way home and guess what, the generator is working! I bring some leftovers from Casey and Leah's for lunch and when we stop I get everything ready to start microwaving. I really only need the generator to work for 5 minutes. Bill starts her up and I get the bacon and toast going for my BLT. Well apparently I should have known better than to run the microwave and toaster at the same time because the generator just couldn't handle it. Again, I have had it and swear that I am not going to eat anything the whole trip home. I stomp outside to pout and Bill restarts the generator again and again until it finally is going. He makes lunch as I just sit on the couch and sulk. I want to go home, I want to go home...
We are back on the road in South Carolina and I am trying to take a nap when of course Olivia has to go to the bathroom. I quickly get her out of her seat and sit her on the toilet. I hear the sound of the Ol RV moving along the rumble strips on the side of the road and whip my head out of the bathroom.
"what the hell are you doing?!"
"we are getting pulled over."
"Olivia, you need to stop peeing right NOW!"
I hustle her back into her car seat just before the officer approaches the trailer (on the passenger's side). I kid you not when I tell you that this cop resembled Officer Farva from Super Troopers and Bill had to hold in a laugh when he saw him. Officer Farva asked Bill for his license and registration and to get out of the vehicle. Are you kidding me?! Bill finally comes back with a ticket in his had- WTF! Bill informs me that it is just a warning notice for not using his blinker when changing lanes (btw, Bill always uses his blinker so this was pure BS) Bill said Farva asked him a million questions including if we had anything illegal in our RV- yeah buddy- it's a moving meth lab. Did he really have nothing better to do than to pull us over- I have never seen an RV pulled over- only us.
We finally reach our destination for the night- a campground in Emporia, Virginia. We get settled and just as I am about to drift off to sleep a freaking train goes by blaring its horn. ARRGGG! It went by again at 5:30am but at least I was already up getting ready for our final drive home.
10 hours later we arrived home and I was euphoric! Space, lots of space... Bill off in one direction, Olivia off in another, Liam on the floor happily playing and me just putzing around.
Vacation is nice but there's no place like home....
We awoke every morning to either roosters crowing, lions roaring or trains going by. I guess sleeping in is out of the question- oh did I mention that Liam decided he didn't like to sleep anymore and was up on and off all night- I got more sleep when he was a newborn. I am by no means a mother that cares if my kid cries it out but being nestled between two trailers I felt bad for the other campers having to listen to my kid cry- I mean someone should have a good night's sleep. Overall we had a great time and I am sure when I look back on this in, oh... about ten years I will laugh about it instead of cringe or cry.
so The Keys were nice but really not geared for kids-thankfully our campground had a pool and hot tub that the kids enjoyed. I am not going to lie- I was jealous when we went to Key West for a "family day" and saw all the other smart people who left their kids behind and were enjoying hanging out in the bars. Instead I enjoyed a tour of an aquarium. We did have lunch at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville but Olivia decided to have a tantrum which made enjoying my rum punch impossible. My solace was my walk through the Coach outlet ALONE. I walked in and took in the smell of the fabric, the leather... the rich. Even at the outlet the least expensive bag was over a $100. Do you know how many diapers and wipes that can buy?! Maybe another time- goodbye old friend...
5 days later we pulled into our campsite at Lion Country Safari near West Palm Beach. Now when they tell you that you may wake to the roaring of Lions they are not kidding! At first Bill told me it had to be a tape being played- the sounds of the safari-but the next morning when I heard the lions and their trainers banging on metal drums I knew it was real. We rented a van at the park to drive through the animal park. As the speed limit was 5 miles an hour we did not bring the car seats. At the entrance they give you a tape to play that describes the animals. Bill is driving and I am sitting in the back holding Liam with Olivia sitting next to me. Bill and I are looking at the animals, listening to the tape- Liam is oblivious and doesn't stop wiggling around and all Olivia wants to do is play with the seat belts. Bill shuts off the tape and we make our way through the animal park- Ostriches are pecking at our car, lions staring us down and I swear the monkeys were laughing at us. After an hour we come to the end and Olivia is still hard at work buckling and unbuckling her seat belt... whatever.
The next day we venture to the walk through park- as we don't have a car we have to walk the 1/2 mile to the Safari Park. So we load up the big double stroller and the single stroller with our stuff for the day, kids included and make our way their. The park was perfectly geared for Olivia. She had a blast feeding some of the animals, going on rides and enjoyed the little water park. We started our walk back to the campground at around 3pm. Liam was sleeping and Olivia decided she wanted to walk. Well let me tell you walking a 1/2 a mile with a two year old will take you forever... It is humid and buggy out (and I am very tired of being eaten alive by no-see-ums). Bill and I are getting cranky. A truck is coming up behind us and as we move over to the side of the road- one bag on the stroller drops and spills all over and then another- Bill is trying to pick it all up but it drops again. I am so tired that all I can do is laugh, which just frustrates Bill more. I laugh harder, not really meaning to but I am just soooo tired that I can't stop. Bill finally picks up everything and stomps away leaving Olivia and I to walk by ourselves back to camp.
The next day we are off to see Bill's brother and his wife in central Florida, near Tampa. We get to the camp ground which is conveniently located across the street from his brother's apartment complex but for lack of a better word... is a hole. As the escort takes us to our site we pass a sign that says "beware of alligators"- WHAT?! We were originally going to walk back and forth to Casey and Leah's but I made Bill go get Casey's car. Oh did I mention that the hot water heater stopped working.... ha,ha,ha,ha.... I am so delirious that I don't even care. Thankfully Casey and Leah have a beautiful garden tub that we can bathe the kids and shower in. But wouldn't you know it, the glorious hot water that I have been longing for only makes the bug bites worse and I stand in the shower scratching away... ahhhh it feels so good. Poor Olivia looks like she is recovering from the chicken pox!
Well wouldn't ya know it, the Florida State Fair in Tampa had just started before we got there... yeeha! Actually I planned our whole vacation around this- Fair food in the middle of winter; awesome!- sausage and peppers, roasted corn, any kind of BBQ you can imagine and my favorite fried Oreos! I was appalled to see fried butter on the menu and could not bring myself to try it. I also witnessed the most delicious but disgusting cheeseburger being cooked- burger, cheese, bacon and as the bun- a grilled Krispie Kreme donut. I should have tried it but I had just finished eating a pig's leg and was full- go figure- the next food booth is always the best. Any who, after a good day at the fair, a nice shower, a little Super Bowl watching we were off to bed. We wanted an early start to our drive home.... our vacation had come to an end (would it be awful if I said finally?! I know it sounds like I am complaining but I am very appreciative that we are fortunate enough to go on vacation for 2 weeks in the middle of winter. It's just sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for...)
We are on our way home and guess what, the generator is working! I bring some leftovers from Casey and Leah's for lunch and when we stop I get everything ready to start microwaving. I really only need the generator to work for 5 minutes. Bill starts her up and I get the bacon and toast going for my BLT. Well apparently I should have known better than to run the microwave and toaster at the same time because the generator just couldn't handle it. Again, I have had it and swear that I am not going to eat anything the whole trip home. I stomp outside to pout and Bill restarts the generator again and again until it finally is going. He makes lunch as I just sit on the couch and sulk. I want to go home, I want to go home...
We are back on the road in South Carolina and I am trying to take a nap when of course Olivia has to go to the bathroom. I quickly get her out of her seat and sit her on the toilet. I hear the sound of the Ol RV moving along the rumble strips on the side of the road and whip my head out of the bathroom.
"what the hell are you doing?!"
"we are getting pulled over."
"Olivia, you need to stop peeing right NOW!"
I hustle her back into her car seat just before the officer approaches the trailer (on the passenger's side). I kid you not when I tell you that this cop resembled Officer Farva from Super Troopers and Bill had to hold in a laugh when he saw him. Officer Farva asked Bill for his license and registration and to get out of the vehicle. Are you kidding me?! Bill finally comes back with a ticket in his had- WTF! Bill informs me that it is just a warning notice for not using his blinker when changing lanes (btw, Bill always uses his blinker so this was pure BS) Bill said Farva asked him a million questions including if we had anything illegal in our RV- yeah buddy- it's a moving meth lab. Did he really have nothing better to do than to pull us over- I have never seen an RV pulled over- only us.
We finally reach our destination for the night- a campground in Emporia, Virginia. We get settled and just as I am about to drift off to sleep a freaking train goes by blaring its horn. ARRGGG! It went by again at 5:30am but at least I was already up getting ready for our final drive home.
10 hours later we arrived home and I was euphoric! Space, lots of space... Bill off in one direction, Olivia off in another, Liam on the floor happily playing and me just putzing around.
Vacation is nice but there's no place like home....
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