Getting out of the house

I wake up with the intention of going out and getting some errands done. And the mad dash to get out of the house before 10am begins.... I would like to be home by noon to give my kids a nice wholesome lunch but happy meals on the road and naps in the car it will probably be. PS I usually get up between 7am and 8am so you would think 2 to 3 hours would be plenty of time to get out of the house- not here.



I need my cup of coffee which I have already said I can't drink without reheating at least 3 times- have to feed Liam who is happy to eat anything these days and fight with Olivia to have something besides chips or cookies for breakfast.



"you want what? a frozen waffle? sure. Here ya go."



Then change and dress Liam and then try to get Olivia dressed. Now at almost 3 she has to do EVERYTHING herself. I have given up on making her clothes match- if she will put it on it works for me. Then the battle for me to get into the shower ensues. I used to put Liam and Olivia in my bed watching TV while I got in the shower- not anymore. Little miss independent needs to stay out in the "ligy" room as she calls the living room and Liam is rolling all over. I have to give in to Liv because I'd rather spend 5 minutes setting her up with a movie and toy then 20 minutes arguing with her and bribing her into my room. I then carry the exersaucer, usually with Liam in it into my bedroom and get into the shower as Liam is crying.



"Olivia can you come in here and play with your brother, please?!"



I get into the shower and try to enjoy my 5 minutes of solitude (yeah, right) and then I start hurrying up because I am frantically picturing Olivia getting into something she is not supposed to- every couple of minutes I am called her, from the shower to come in and answer some inane question I make up just to make sure she is okay. I get out of the shower and start yelling again for her to come in and get her hair done and brush her teeth. Several times have I run out to the living room naked when she hasn't answered me thinking something terrible happened only to find her playing or engrossed in her show. One day I will run out naked just as the oil guy or UPS man shows up.

She finally gets into the bathroom and my test of patience begins again-

"here brush your teeth."

"no, I want to put the toothpaste on.."

"okay, let me wet your hair down."

"no. I want to do it!"

arrgghhhh.

Liam is really fussing now and I dump a load of Puffs (aka baby crack) onto the tray of the exersaucer. This buys me about 5 more minutes. As I send Olivia back out of the bathroom so I can finish getting ready I notice her socks and shoes are off.... Really?!

I am finally ready. I try to look decent to go out but I know that I probably look like a hot mess, especially because I am sweating profusely from the mommy marathon that has ensued since I have gotten out of the shower. I don't know why I even bother. I refuse to stop in front of the mirror because I would just be horrified and since I have made it this far to get out of the house I am not going to let MY appearance stop us. I get Liam and head towards the door....

"Liv, let's go. Olivia. OLIVIA ANN NOW!"

I head back to her room and find her clothes from her dresser strewn everywhere, her pants off but two pairs of underwear on and she is concentrating very hard on putting a different pair of pants on.

"Mommy, I wanted to wear my pink pants."

I don't even have words at this point. She finally gets dressed (after I am told to leave the room because she can do it HERSELF- at these times I know my mother is laughing from heaven saying, "I told you... just wait until you have a little girl of your own.") I walk out of her room and firmly tell Liam that he MUST stay a baby FOREVER!

Olivia finally presents herself and I am trying to be patient. "let's go."

"okay, but I need my baby and her stuff."

"no. Let's go!"

She grabs her baby and starts stuffing her purse full of God knows what and heads towards the door.

"Mommy, this stuff is heavy. Can you carry it?"

Sure let me just get my bionic arms going- holding Liam, the diaper bag, my purse and not Liv's entourage. LET'S GO!

We make it to the car and Liam is in.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"of course you do."

Back into the house, pee and back out to the car we all go.

Finally the kids are in the car and I start to hand Olivia her "have to have" toys...

"no, I don't want them. Can you put them on the floor?"

I wish I could tell you where I'd like to put them but that would probably be a CPS report....