Vacation

Warm, sunny, sandy beach, waves rolling in and slapping the shore in that rhythmic song, laying on a beach chair with a good book in hand. This has always been my idea of vacation and when we planned our trip to Florida this winter I had this in mind- HA! I am still new to this parenting thing and somehow thought that vacationing with my family would be the same as my ideal vacation- wrong again! When I tell you that I had 20 minutes to myself the whole 10 days we were gone I am NOT kidding. I now realize that family vacation means that we do everything for the kids or that we think the kids will like and maybe, just maybe try and sneak in doing something we like to do without a tantrum. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry and took care of the kids only not in my house but 1500 miles away in our very small trailer. On our way home the thought that kept me going was that I was going to rent a room at The Grand Hotel the night we got home- just for ME- No one touching me or calling me or asking me to do anything. Ahhhhh but it was just a dream.



We awoke every morning to either roosters crowing, lions roaring or trains going by. I guess sleeping in is out of the question- oh did I mention that Liam decided he didn't like to sleep anymore and was up on and off all night- I got more sleep when he was a newborn. I am by no means a mother that cares if my kid cries it out but being nestled between two trailers I felt bad for the other campers having to listen to my kid cry- I mean someone should have a good night's sleep. Overall we had a great time and I am sure when I look back on this in, oh... about ten years I will laugh about it instead of cringe or cry.



so The Keys were nice but really not geared for kids-thankfully our campground had a pool and hot tub that the kids enjoyed. I am not going to lie- I was jealous when we went to Key West for a "family day" and saw all the other smart people who left their kids behind and were enjoying hanging out in the bars. Instead I enjoyed a tour of an aquarium. We did have lunch at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville but Olivia decided to have a tantrum which made enjoying my rum punch impossible. My solace was my walk through the Coach outlet ALONE. I walked in and took in the smell of the fabric, the leather... the rich. Even at the outlet the least expensive bag was over a $100. Do you know how many diapers and wipes that can buy?! Maybe another time- goodbye old friend...



5 days later we pulled into our campsite at Lion Country Safari near West Palm Beach. Now when they tell you that you may wake to the roaring of Lions they are not kidding! At first Bill told me it had to be a tape being played- the sounds of the safari-but the next morning when I heard the lions and their trainers banging on metal drums I knew it was real. We rented a van at the park to drive through the animal park. As the speed limit was 5 miles an hour we did not bring the car seats. At the entrance they give you a tape to play that describes the animals. Bill is driving and I am sitting in the back holding Liam with Olivia sitting next to me. Bill and I are looking at the animals, listening to the tape- Liam is oblivious and doesn't stop wiggling around and all Olivia wants to do is play with the seat belts. Bill shuts off the tape and we make our way through the animal park- Ostriches are pecking at our car, lions staring us down and I swear the monkeys were laughing at us. After an hour we come to the end and Olivia is still hard at work buckling and unbuckling her seat belt... whatever.



The next day we venture to the walk through park- as we don't have a car we have to walk the 1/2 mile to the Safari Park. So we load up the big double stroller and the single stroller with our stuff for the day, kids included and make our way their. The park was perfectly geared for Olivia. She had a blast feeding some of the animals, going on rides and enjoyed the little water park. We started our walk back to the campground at around 3pm. Liam was sleeping and Olivia decided she wanted to walk. Well let me tell you walking a 1/2 a mile with a two year old will take you forever... It is humid and buggy out (and I am very tired of being eaten alive by no-see-ums). Bill and I are getting cranky. A truck is coming up behind us and as we move over to the side of the road- one bag on the stroller drops and spills all over and then another- Bill is trying to pick it all up but it drops again. I am so tired that all I can do is laugh, which just frustrates Bill more. I laugh harder, not really meaning to but I am just soooo tired that I can't stop. Bill finally picks up everything and stomps away leaving Olivia and I to walk by ourselves back to camp.



The next day we are off to see Bill's brother and his wife in central Florida, near Tampa. We get to the camp ground which is conveniently located across the street from his brother's apartment complex but for lack of a better word... is a hole. As the escort takes us to our site we pass a sign that says "beware of alligators"- WHAT?! We were originally going to walk back and forth to Casey and Leah's but I made Bill go get Casey's car. Oh did I mention that the hot water heater stopped working.... ha,ha,ha,ha.... I am so delirious that I don't even care. Thankfully Casey and Leah have a beautiful garden tub that we can bathe the kids and shower in. But wouldn't you know it, the glorious hot water that I have been longing for only makes the bug bites worse and I stand in the shower scratching away... ahhhh it feels so good. Poor Olivia looks like she is recovering from the chicken pox!



Well wouldn't ya know it, the Florida State Fair in Tampa had just started before we got there... yeeha! Actually I planned our whole vacation around this- Fair food in the middle of winter; awesome!- sausage and peppers, roasted corn, any kind of BBQ you can imagine and my favorite fried Oreos! I was appalled to see fried butter on the menu and could not bring myself to try it. I also witnessed the most delicious but disgusting cheeseburger being cooked- burger, cheese, bacon and as the bun- a grilled Krispie Kreme donut. I should have tried it but I had just finished eating a pig's leg and was full- go figure- the next food booth is always the best. Any who, after a good day at the fair, a nice shower, a little Super Bowl watching we were off to bed. We wanted an early start to our drive home.... our vacation had come to an end (would it be awful if I said finally?! I know it sounds like I am complaining but I am very appreciative that we are fortunate enough to go on vacation for 2 weeks in the middle of winter. It's just sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for...)



We are on our way home and guess what, the generator is working! I bring some leftovers from Casey and Leah's for lunch and when we stop I get everything ready to start microwaving. I really only need the generator to work for 5 minutes. Bill starts her up and I get the bacon and toast going for my BLT. Well apparently I should have known better than to run the microwave and toaster at the same time because the generator just couldn't handle it. Again, I have had it and swear that I am not going to eat anything the whole trip home. I stomp outside to pout and Bill restarts the generator again and again until it finally is going. He makes lunch as I just sit on the couch and sulk. I want to go home, I want to go home...



We are back on the road in South Carolina and I am trying to take a nap when of course Olivia has to go to the bathroom. I quickly get her out of her seat and sit her on the toilet. I hear the sound of the Ol RV moving along the rumble strips on the side of the road and whip my head out of the bathroom.



"what the hell are you doing?!"



"we are getting pulled over."



"Olivia, you need to stop peeing right NOW!"



I hustle her back into her car seat just before the officer approaches the trailer (on the passenger's side). I kid you not when I tell you that this cop resembled Officer Farva from Super Troopers and Bill had to hold in a laugh when he saw him. Officer Farva asked Bill for his license and registration and to get out of the vehicle. Are you kidding me?! Bill finally comes back with a ticket in his had- WTF! Bill informs me that it is just a warning notice for not using his blinker when changing lanes (btw, Bill always uses his blinker so this was pure BS) Bill said Farva asked him a million questions including if we had anything illegal in our RV- yeah buddy- it's a moving meth lab. Did he really have nothing better to do than to pull us over- I have never seen an RV pulled over- only us.



We finally reach our destination for the night- a campground in Emporia, Virginia. We get settled and just as I am about to drift off to sleep a freaking train goes by blaring its horn. ARRGGG! It went by again at 5:30am but at least I was already up getting ready for our final drive home.



10 hours later we arrived home and I was euphoric! Space, lots of space... Bill off in one direction, Olivia off in another, Liam on the floor happily playing and me just putzing around.



Vacation is nice but there's no place like home....